Deciding to take charge of your health is a huge step and a positive lifestyle change. Unfortunately for some, their support system is less support and more drain. There may be individuals in your life whose toxicity keeps your energy and focus on them, instead of your goals. If you’ve noticed lately that you walk away from a get together, or hang up from a phone chat feeling more drained than rejuvenated then it might be time for a people detox.
Who we spend our time with and let in to our lives has a huge effect on how we view the world and ourselves. Our social circles are our sounding boards and confidants, so having a supportive and like-minded group of people there to reinforce the positives and offer constructive criticism is very important, especially in achieving our goals.
Ending a friendship can have similar or worse repercussions as breaking up a romantic relationship, so often we hang on to these toxic friendships without realizing how much harm keeping them in our lives actually does.
Changing your lifestyle for your health shouldn’t bring out the worst in others, so if you find that your lifestyle change has brought out some toxicity in your friendship(s), you have some options. Ultimately the goal is to keep your friends in your life, so it’s important to communicate as best as you can to see if you can find a happy medium, with exclusion being the last resort.
- Evaluate
Take a look at your relationships and how they make you feel. Do you feel motivated, inspired or uplifted? Or do you have more negative feelings like guilt, dejection or stress? It’s important that you don’t find yourself feeling defensive or like you’re walking on eggshells around the people you’re relying on for support.
- Communicate
Chances are the negativity is coming from fear. Change can often be seen as a threat for a variety of reasons, and it causes people to lash out.
Take the time talk one on one (perhaps not in the heat of the moment) and let them know why you’re making these changes, and that you still want to spend time with them.
- Be a friend
Also take a look at how you might be able to improve as a friend to others and to yourself. This could mean being better at giving and receiving of your time, support and emotions to others, but also to yourself. Sometimes being a good friend to yourself means having to end relationships with others that are no longer a positive influence.